Poem: Factorium


Welcome to the factorium.

Factory for freshly baked facts.

Fast facts, flexible facts, funky facts, fickle facts,

Fictional facts, fashionable facts,

And cluster facts.

Welcome to the factorium.

Facts for every sensibility,

No need for credibility.

Fresh facts to stick right up the jaxie of reality.

Cos the most effective facts,

Are the ones you fart loudest.

Welcome to the factorium.

Where facts are knives that carve out factions.

For facts are deadly demarcations,

Sacred totems that divide us all

Into believers and blasphemers.

Fun fact,

I researched these facts.

I googled IQ and it said that I’m Mensa,

I found the statistics to prove that you’re denser.

If you question my facts then you’re pro factsination,

And your lack of research is what’s wrong with the nation.

Welcome to the factorium.

It’s all fact up.

  • Matt Thiele, April 2022.